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Blind As a Bat Out of Wuhan
The inclusivity game has no winners.
My name is The Good Citizen.
I’m a male sheep so technically I’m a polled ram.
I’m standing at the end of a table since I can’t sit on chairs and I’m wearing off-white wool.
I’m usually blindfolded and my mouth is usually covered with blue tape so I can live up to my name The Good Citizen. I’ve removed both for this meeting.
I’m wearing sunglasses because my eyes cannot adjust to the light after a lifetime of being blindfolded.
I have osteoarthritis so if I tap my hoofs while I’m talking don’t be disturbed by this, I’m not dancing or signaling to the Illuminati, I need to keep the joints moving to prevent severe pain.
I know it’s awkward to see a sheep talking, but you’ve seen weirder in the past few years. We all have.
If I shimmy my rear end and fart now and then it’s because I had extra grass and weeds for lunch, but rest assured my farts are nowhere near as deadly as cow farts.
We have also ordered pizza for this afternoon, so if the delivery person arrives while this meeting is in session please know this is not a sign of trafficking children to a global pedophile ring.
It’s just pizza.
When it arrives I will announce the person who delivers it, what they’re wearing, what race they are, and without presuming their gender identity will ask them to provide his, her, hir, vis, xyr, pers, they, their preferred pronouns.
Let’s begin the meeting starting with the least privileged and most oppressed individuals and work our way around the room with introductions, pronouns, clothes and colors, accessories, hairstyles, ticks, triggers, potential triggers, and anything else you’d like to add for any able disadvantaged people who might be watching, or listening to our live stream from around the world.
Okay, let’s move along to the last introduction so we can begin the meeting.
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