Gospel of The Ukrainian Borg
Testify your insanity and become assimilated.
βThe purpose of the Internet was not to liberate information for society, but to isolate individuals into controlled information monopolies so their ideas, behaviors and beliefs could be easily merged into one psychological energy weapon for the aims of a global technocracy.β
β T. Goode Charley
The light and the darkness. The kind and the cruel. The strong and the weak. The brave and the cowards. The thoughtful and the Ukrainian Borg.
Zis invasion is a great opportunity to reset zee world. Zee more civilian deaths for zee cameras and refugees, zee more zee west will sanction Russia destroying zee dollarβs status and zerby zee global economy, zee better it will be for zee Forse Industrrael Revolution.
Schwab 6:66
Ukrainian Borg Alliance Meeting Day 7 - Zoom Room 38218832PX12
Dobrogo Ranku everyone! That means good morning in Urainians. My name is Piper, my pronouns are ze/zir and I just want to talk about, like my feelings lately. I really was antiwar but then I started seeing images of the Ghost of Keev and like all those Ruskie planes he shot down in one day to earn the ace fighter badge and now Iβm totally inspired. Iβm thinking about starting a GoFundMe to raise money for a new aviator suit for him since the one heβs been wearing for like a week is probably all sweaty and I highly doubt they have tide pods there or even washing machines. Do they even wash clothes in Urainia? Probably in the rivers.
So, I would like, totally go and fight there myself but I have this weird rash on my feet at the moment and it hurts to walk. My cousin says its like, something from my third booster but heβs a total antivaxxer and maybe even a Putin apologist so I know itβs probably totally unrelated. I stopped talking to him four days ago and blocked him from my DMs on Insta and like, the karmic vibes since then have been totally copacetic.
Right now I think the best thing we can all do is raise money for a new aviator suit for the Ghost of Keev, and keep tweeting Jens Stoltenberg the head of NATO to finally send fighter jets in there to help him. Itβs time to start bombing those Russians in Urainia and like why stop there when they can fly straight to bomb Moscow and St. Petersburg? Iβm like all for just bombing all Russians at this point if it saves just one Urainie!
Oh and I also signed the petition to the United Nations Global Culinary council to have the dish Chicken Kiev changed to Chicken Keev permanently. Every little bit helps the Urainians. Peace everyone!
The gentile must dominate the Jew who keep the ethnic Ruse on a dog leash.
Book of Azov Battalion 5:03
Ukrainian Borg Alliance Meeting Day 11 - Zoom Room 45418432GE23
Hello everyone. My name is Finley. My pronouns are ve/ver. Iβm from Seattle. I was one of the original Chaz occupiers. Now I work for the city of Seattle doing just basic humanitarian work to assist with the temporarily sheltered and abode challenged peoples of the community. Itβs mostly handing out free syringes and soon thanks to President Biden, crack pipes, because why discriminate against any recreational drug users? Whatβs that? Oh, right, Ukraine. So, like Iβm totally antiwar but just the evil nature of Putin has made me all for this one. I didnβt mean that. Stop giving me those looks! What I meant to say is that Iβm against this invasion like one hundred. But Iβm totally for bombing the shit out of all Russians. Iβm so for it okay? Like, the other day when I was handing out syringes to the abode challenged, one of them had a weird accent and like I asked straight up, βAre you Russian?β and he got like scared and said he was hungry or something, but I said Iβm not handing out food, and he said he was from hungry, but then I saw he had a blue and red tent, which we all know are Russian colors because of the flag, right? So no syringe for Borris! Thatβs right. Iβm totally doing my part too.
The most courageous thing Iβve done recently is put my cat down. I thought it would make me sad but Iβm actually like very happy I did it. She cost me two grand when I bought her as a kitten, but every time I like, just saw her, it made me feel guilty because she was a Siberian forest cat. I was just reminded of Russian evil every time she meowed. It wasnβt good for my morale. I did have to bribe the vet who wanted to adopt her, which was way out of bounds for me and I told her one less Russian thing in the world makes it a better place, and so like we both agreed to say she was terminal with cancer and it cost me another two grand to bribe the vet but, was like, totally worth it.
Other than that I also give to all the causes, the Ghost of Kyiv, Chicken Kyiv, and I spend at least three hours each day harassing people on Insta and Twitter who donβt have the Ukrainianβs flag in their profile. Thanks for listening! Be the change you want to see in the world!
The bear must know we mean business and we can do that by inviting the fiercest armies of the world to join our cause, like Latvia, North Macedonia and Montenegro.
NATOnomy 2:13
The active and the passive. The calm and the hysterical. The disciplined and the lazy. The empathic and the narcissistic. The sane and the Ukrainian Borg.
There is no limit to the profits we will reap from a new cold war with Russia and China.
Raythesians 2:31
Ukrainian Borg Alliance Meeting Day 13 - Zoom Room 9273464532TR44
Hi itβs Dakota here from Brooklyn. My pronouns are xyr/xyrs. So, like Iβve been going around to all the boroughs to find all the Russian restaurants and clubs and bath houses and like been putting remote solar powered surveillance cameras up outside to watch the people coming and going from these Ruskie dens. My housemateβs brotherβs yoga guru friend is like, friends with someone in the group Anonymous and since theyβre attacking Russia with like cyber war I thought I could help out the cause with some facial recognition spying of internal spies, that like probably work for Putin but are living in the city. Iβve only got like three up so far, and one of them broke, but I have identified two hundred and eighty-eight places of interest, mostly in Brighton Beach, but I need help to speed up this op and some funding, so if you want to donate I have a GoFundMe and if you know anyone who like, works at the CIA who might be interested in this op, please send me a DM on TikTok. My username is DakotasWatching.
Iβve also joined several anti-Russian facebook groups and weβre planning to petition the state department to have as many Russians deported as possible. And the ones that canβt be deported for like, legal or constitutional reasons or whatever, they should be put in camps where we know they canβt hurt us. Iβll post that petition to my TikTok soon so please follow me.
Finally, if youβre like me and you have any doubts about the Russian menace here in our country and like, the potential for one of them to plant a dirty nuke in times square just remember the story of Julius and Ethel Rosenberg. The evil could be everywhere if we are not vigilant. Thanks for listening and remember Gandhiβs words, I have them here on a sticky, hold on, here it is: βEach one has to find peace from within. And peace to be real must be unaffected by outside circumstances." So, like be real everyone! Peace.
Putin is a killer, man. I know killers. Corn Pop was a bad dude too. Did I tell you what I did to Corn Pop?
Demented Revelations 1:22
The modest and the pretentious. The coherent and the confused. The free and the slave. The rational and the Ukrainian Borg.
Ukrainian Borg Alliance Meeting Day 16 - Zoom Room 1433434532AQ21
Hi everyone. My name is Jane, I live in London. Whatβs that? Oh, I have to say my pronouns? Okay. She/her I guess, is that right? I live in London and I just wanted to say that my husband and I really support the Ukrainian people at this difficult time, but listening to some of the comments on the Russian people has been difficult here. My husband immigrated to the UK from Russia twenty years ago for a better life. Heβs a sweet, kind man and heβs scared now to even go outβ¦(connection cut by host)
Then all of you came to me and said, βLet us bake cookies for the neo-nazis of the Maidan Revolution and film the events for Netflix documentaries. Those who do not support me, spy out the unbelievers for us and we will ruin them with Russian collusion allegations.β Clinticus Hilarious 4:31
Ukrainian Borg Alliance Meeting Day 18 - Zoom Room 6639342072EV1
Hi. My name is Justice Peace Goodwill Smith. My pronouns are xe/xem. My parents were like, total hippies so they gave me that badass name.
So, like, Iβm really trying to do my part. Iβve given away all my savings to all the causes to help the Ukrainies win against Ruskie evil. Iβve even started 52 petitions to get the remaining Russian hockey players banned from the NHL. I think there might be a few Russian tennis players on the pro tours but Iβm researching that too and will start petitions to get them all kicked out. You all have to follow me on twitter so we can really get my petitions to go viral. My username is at nomorerussiansintheworld, all one word. Iβve been on twitter a lot lately. Iβve been reporting thousands of accounts so twitter puts the Russian affiliated disinformation label on them and that discredits them and people will think twice about retweeting them.
Oh, I also started a petition to increase the NATO stockpile of nuclear weapons to like double or triple what Putin has because it might like, be the deterrent that gets him to withdraw Russian troops. You just never know with such an evil man what will make him stop being, like, so evil. We need to try everything, even like to de-escalate.
I also heard like, some rumors that Zelensky is going to use his own money to buy and smuggle weapons into Kyiv. Heβs like refinancing his little home in Florida and his little boats to use as collateral for more weapons for the liberation of his country. I just think thatβs like so brave, so I decided to follow his lead, and refinanced my house and took $200,000 cash back and transferred it directly to him as like a resistance gift. Oh, thanks everyone! Thanks, thatβs so kind. I just want to do my part to destroy Russians wherever possible. If it makes the world a better place we must all like, do our part and stuff. Love you! Justice, Peace and Goodwill!
The west must send air support and $2 billions more in US Aid that I deliver personally to the Ukrainian people from my $35 million mansion in Sunny Isles, Florida where I have green screen to pretend Iβm in Kyiv. My bank details: JP Morgan Chase Manhattan. 92811193383. Urgency is vital!
Zelenskalms 4:12
Ukrainian Borg Alliance Meeting Day 21 - Zoom Room 3219343772NQ11
Dobrogo Ranku everyone, itβs Piper. My pronouns are ze/zir. Itβs been a couple weeks since I spoke, but I just wanted to say that the GoFundMe for the Ghost of Keev aviator suit is finished. We raised four point two million dollars! I canβt believe it. So, like Iβm trying to figure out how much an aviator suit costs and since we donβt know the Ghost of Keevβs size, I will probably just buy three different sizes and then FedEx them to President Zelenskyβs home in Florida along with a check for the remaining balance.
He personally told me that the remaining four million one hundred and eighty-eight thousand dollars will go toward Uranian rebuilding projects. He says thereβs a huge Uranian diaspora in Sunny Isles, Florida and the money will be spent there on various projects for refugees. He mentioned something about a hybrid explorer ice class something and Bugatti Chirons. I donβt know what that means, sounds like some sophisticated weapons, but I totally trust him to do the right thing. Heβs like my personally hero.
Okay everyone, donβt forget to lobby your congressperson about Bill 8-13 to utilize those dozens of FEMA camps for Russians. We really need to ensure the safety of our country against internal Russian aggression and that is the best way to do it. It worked against the Japanese during world war two, so letβs make it happen again! Peace and love!
The sound and the fury. The signal and the noise. The thriving and the dead. The natural and the nuked. The lonely and the Ukrainian Borg.
βWhile hysteria and psychosis were utilized by global technocracy as legitimate consent of the masses toward justifying any means to realize their ends, individuals were left to perform their virtues as rituals of collective action that affected no meaningful change beyond a desire to convince themselves the opposite were true which was only possible with the unquestioning support of the assimilated majority.β
β T. Goode Charley
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You've got to admire the ambition and energy of that couple- finishing the paint job on their entire house in such short order.
I've been trying to get the motivation to paint our house for a few years now to no avail. I keep putting it off by telling my wife, "I can't decide on the colors."
She says, "You can't think I believe you put this off for four years based on indecision on the colors?"
I say, "I have to wait for the proper invasion and match that up to the countries flag colors that suit our house."
She never understood until now.
In any case someone might want to go over to Robert Malone's substack and inform him that the #I stand with Ukraine nonsense is a psy-op as he is on board with it.
I tried but you have to be a paid subscriber.
Awesome. Sadly your satirical characters with their preferred pronouns resemble many actual people alive or dead. Maybe you need that disclaimer for your writing π