Inventor Maloney Wants To Control Your Thoughts About Him

Another week, another legal threat by the thin skinned horse trainer and inventor of the "fifthgenerometer."

Richard Maloney, Lynchburg, VA (1897)

By Percival O'Hanlon, Correspondent, Daily True American
Lynchburg VA, November 1, 1898

It is with a fervent dedication to the truth that I present before you, dear readers of the Daily True American, an astonishing account of treacherous deceit and the seemingly unquenchable ambition of one Richard Maloney. Hailing from Lynchburg, Virginia, Mr. Maloney, once respected as a hobbyist horse trainer, is more recently renowned as the inventor of a most unusual contraption - the "fifthgenerometer."

Mr. Maloney’s horse training facility, although established in Lynchburg, did not enjoy much goodwill amongst its employees. Whispers among the locals and disgruntled murmurs of the staff spoke of an employer who was less than trustworthy. With frequent dismissals and constant shuffling of staff, Maloney sought a solution not in ameliorating his management ways, and the murmurs of suspicion about his intentions, but rather in a contraption of mind manipulation.