This terrifies me. If any Good Citizens could offer me advice regarding my daughter who would like to go to college in two years, I’m open to hearing it. We live in a blue, east coast state and I’m not optimistic about the state colleges. But not sending her to college isn’t really an option as she’d feel like she’s being punished and I …
This terrifies me. If any Good Citizens could offer me advice regarding my daughter who would like to go to college in two years, I’m open to hearing it. We live in a blue, east coast state and I’m not optimistic about the state colleges. But not sending her to college isn’t really an option as she’d feel like she’s being punished and I want her to be able to support herself comfortably with or without a husband. And the vocations that pay well are not quite the right fit for girly girls. Thanks! (p.s. we’re not rich so money is an object. )
Great comment and an important part that's missing from this piece - what to do? One of the authors of the books I recommend in the middle of this piece - Prof. Jonathan Haidt - started the heterodox academy for schools that declare a commitment to being the opposite of Portland State University - open to all ideas, views, beliefs, opinions etc. Those two books would also be good pre-college study for your daughter so she can identify these students when she encounters them, which she likely will at any university with the exception of a few private Christian institutions.
Thank you, GC! I’ve read the book and I also utilize the FIRE website that rates colleges on free speech, but somehow I missed Heterodox Academy and this list. Which private Christian universities are you referring to?
Then your goal is to get her strong enough for the challenge. Otherwise, you could ose her to the SJW's forever.
Which is exactly what the SJW's want.
I would bet that Hillsdale, fully aware of the challenges, could make some excellent suggestions. Additionally, Hillsdale has an excellent off-campus/non-accredited learning system available to all.
As far back as Socrates it has been recognized that stress puts people in a frame of mind that is open to change. Military boot camp uses this psychological trick to recreate recruits in the image they want. Part of the reason college is so good at reprogramming people is that for many kids going away to college is a stressful event, so they are put in that frame of mind which makes them more susceptible to reprogramming.
So I would recommend having your daughter do things that would make it so that moving away to college would not be a stressful event. Camping, perhaps a trip with friends where they stay at a hotel for a few nights, living with other relatives for a week, etc.. Things that are similar to moving away from home so as to acclimate her to such an experience, so that freshmen year doesn't induce stress in her.
"not sending her to college isn’t really an option as she’d feel like she’s being punished"
I can't imagine a punishment worse than GOING to college in this day and age!
(Okay, upon further thought, there are worse punishments: work, high school, middle school, elementary school, toddlerhood, infancy, and birth. But college is a close No. 8!)
I’m a millennial. My dad was a mechanic at the mines, I made more than his hourly rate when I started babysitting in high school. I went to college on a mostly paid scholarship. I studied premed, did postgrad work abroad, got accepted to med school, and ended up not going at the last minute. I’m in finance now. I didn’t take any business classes in college, and none of the securities licenses I have required a college degree. I scouted for an associate for a long time and met with a lot of people with a lot of degrees. The girl I finally hired hadn’t graduated college but got her ged. She’s on track to get her first securities license this year - no additional schooling, just competent and curious at her job. If I could offer a young girl advice, it would be: unless you know what you want to do with your life, don’t go to college yet - get a job, save money, and when it gets boring, think about what would be interesting and see if you can get a job or an unpaid internship exploring that. And if you know what you want to do with your life but it’s not stem/doctor/lawyer/something that requires a science degree, think very hard about racking up debt versus racking up real world experience in a lower paying job in that field because your competence will matter far more than your degree, and also because I can’t even imagine choosing to interview anyone for a job if they’re recently out of college regardless of what college or university it is.
The other advice I would offer a young girl is: if your female role models were anything like mine, and I hope they were, they really wanted the best for you and did their best to make sure you knew you deserved the same equal opportunity as everyone else. My role models hadn’t had that equal opportunity as a given, and I appreciated that they worked hard to make my experience different from theirs. It was. But as much as I enjoy what I do, I think that in their zeal to trailblaze a new path that sometimes they forgot to include the message
that if you want to be nothing more than an incredible mother, that’s just as good and valid as any other option you choose to pursue (if not better since those genetically gifted to be mothers is only halfish of the population).
I have a son and a daughter 14 months apart who just finished fresh(person) year at two separate state schools in TN. Son’s not going back next year: thinking about doing ‘The 18” Journey “ with Jonothan and Melissa Helser. Search Cagelessbirds.
Culinary Institute of America, the tasty CIA, in Poughkeepsie, NY used to be very good return on investment, with employers waiting.
Mike Rowe has an apprenticeship program. There was someone else like Rowe, but more simply matching people with interest to people who want NON-BA or BS degreed talent. Employers know what a crock of troubles those degrees from WOKE FORESTS represent.
Unfortunately, a woman doesn't find out if she's in that "gifted halfish" until after she's committed to birthing an unconsenting new soul into this inferno called "life".
As ill-advised and as ruinous as college is for most, it doesn't compare to the permanent calamity of having a child one is unfit or unprepared to raise, both emotionally and financially. A blunder on that account will harm the young mother, of course....but more importantly, it dooms an innocent child into a permanent and inescapable nightmare.
Hi Tess. Thanks for all the great advice. It seems the subjects she likes most are those in which she likes the teacher. Last year it was Latin and biology. This year it was Latin and business. She would like to be a doctor or PA but the plan is to start with nursing rather than premed because she’s not a straight A honor student, more A-B in a mix of advanced and honors, and unfortunately I don’t think her SAT scores will be high enough for med school.
She enjoys mock trial club, wrote for the school newspaper last year but there’s no print version so nobody reads it, loves to play volleyball but wasn’t good enough to make our highly competitive team, is not musical but has high social intelligence and loves being where there’s lots of people. She enjoys baking, working, and shopping. When she was younger, she followed the stocks of some favorite companies, including Ulta, and made some money when her aunt gave her half of the gain she made by buying Ulta on her advice (granted pretty much every stock was increasing in those days).
I’m also the daughter of a mechanic, and of a stay at home mom. Neither attended college. I had the smarts for it, but they didn’t have the understanding of how to guide me there and I have always been lazy unfortunately.
I myself have been a stay at home mom mostly, though by now I have become a pretty integral part of my husband’s landscape architecture practice. I feel I missed out by not going to college and know I could not have supported myself and my children had we ever divorced. I don’t want her to be in the same position. And when she’s asked at a party what she does for a living, I want her to have a respectable answer, even if it’s: I’m a stay at home mom, but I used to (fill in the blank).
I think she’d make a great recruiter of some type but neither of us has any real exposure to someone in that role.
I’m planning to have her take the meyers Briggs and the strong assessment to help us narrow down the career options.
If she’s interested in tech or coding at all, I think there are a few programs like this that prioritize students getting a job when they graduate. I realize part of why she wants is the full college experience and this would not fit that bill, but for affordability and function might be worth looking into.
I got my basic EMT license the summer after I graduated high school - this would be a great way for her to get her foot in the door in the medical field so she could decide if it’s something she really wants to pursue without the full college commitment up front. For me it was a 9 credit hour course that I did at the local community college - the ambulance ride alongs and hospital ER shifts will help her figure out fairly quickly whether or not it’s something she wants to pursue and, if so, give her a launchpad to get in the door and the skills for a related part-time job too.
It's truly a conundrum. If she stays at home and stays in conversation with you, you could off-set the indoctrination. Maybe. I used to watch TV with my kids and comment on the subtext, and how they were being given subliminal messages. It really helped keep them alert to programming. But they were kids, and they tend to stop listening to parents around 15-17, so not sure that would work in college. Paying for indoctrination is an insult of course, just like paying for our phones to spy on us. I don't know. But a college degree is really not necessary to supporting oneself - that is going away. Maybe if she has any ideas for her own business, you could support that instead of paying tuition? My bet is that's where we're going. Old model, dying.
Thanks, Kathleen. I’ve been trying to think of some kind of financial incentive to at least maybe encourage her to commute locally, but the Covid jab requirements here are a problem, and she really would love to have the old fashioned college experience, if that exists anymore.
This terrifies me. If any Good Citizens could offer me advice regarding my daughter who would like to go to college in two years, I’m open to hearing it. We live in a blue, east coast state and I’m not optimistic about the state colleges. But not sending her to college isn’t really an option as she’d feel like she’s being punished and I want her to be able to support herself comfortably with or without a husband. And the vocations that pay well are not quite the right fit for girly girls. Thanks! (p.s. we’re not rich so money is an object. )
Great comment and an important part that's missing from this piece - what to do? One of the authors of the books I recommend in the middle of this piece - Prof. Jonathan Haidt - started the heterodox academy for schools that declare a commitment to being the opposite of Portland State University - open to all ideas, views, beliefs, opinions etc. Those two books would also be good pre-college study for your daughter so she can identify these students when she encounters them, which she likely will at any university with the exception of a few private Christian institutions.
https://heterodoxacademy.org/library/10-colleges-where-you-wont-have-to-walk-on-eggshells/
Thank you, GC! I’ve read the book and I also utilize the FIRE website that rates colleges on free speech, but somehow I missed Heterodox Academy and this list. Which private Christian universities are you referring to?
Hillsdale College.
Definitely Hillsdale.
Thank you. I would love that but I’m not sure she’s a strong enough student to get admitted.
Then your goal is to get her strong enough for the challenge. Otherwise, you could ose her to the SJW's forever.
Which is exactly what the SJW's want.
I would bet that Hillsdale, fully aware of the challenges, could make some excellent suggestions. Additionally, Hillsdale has an excellent off-campus/non-accredited learning system available to all.
Indeed. Youth learning to work hard toward a worthy goal ... priceless.
head south... and midwest. Clemsen, Iowa state . College of the Ozarks, Hillsdale college are both totally private and take no federal money.
Thank you! I’ll check them out.
As far back as Socrates it has been recognized that stress puts people in a frame of mind that is open to change. Military boot camp uses this psychological trick to recreate recruits in the image they want. Part of the reason college is so good at reprogramming people is that for many kids going away to college is a stressful event, so they are put in that frame of mind which makes them more susceptible to reprogramming.
So I would recommend having your daughter do things that would make it so that moving away to college would not be a stressful event. Camping, perhaps a trip with friends where they stay at a hotel for a few nights, living with other relatives for a week, etc.. Things that are similar to moving away from home so as to acclimate her to such an experience, so that freshmen year doesn't induce stress in her.
Wow. That really does make sense and was not on my radar. Thank you.
"not sending her to college isn’t really an option as she’d feel like she’s being punished"
I can't imagine a punishment worse than GOING to college in this day and age!
(Okay, upon further thought, there are worse punishments: work, high school, middle school, elementary school, toddlerhood, infancy, and birth. But college is a close No. 8!)
Direct entry midwife or plumber
Thanks! She might consider midwife.
Don't send her to college!
Save the DEBT you're about to waste and convert the paper-money into a proper INVESTMENT in a good SKILLS SET.
What is she good at, what school subjects does she enjoy, and what are her hobbies or activities that she enjoys outside of school setting?
I’m a millennial. My dad was a mechanic at the mines, I made more than his hourly rate when I started babysitting in high school. I went to college on a mostly paid scholarship. I studied premed, did postgrad work abroad, got accepted to med school, and ended up not going at the last minute. I’m in finance now. I didn’t take any business classes in college, and none of the securities licenses I have required a college degree. I scouted for an associate for a long time and met with a lot of people with a lot of degrees. The girl I finally hired hadn’t graduated college but got her ged. She’s on track to get her first securities license this year - no additional schooling, just competent and curious at her job. If I could offer a young girl advice, it would be: unless you know what you want to do with your life, don’t go to college yet - get a job, save money, and when it gets boring, think about what would be interesting and see if you can get a job or an unpaid internship exploring that. And if you know what you want to do with your life but it’s not stem/doctor/lawyer/something that requires a science degree, think very hard about racking up debt versus racking up real world experience in a lower paying job in that field because your competence will matter far more than your degree, and also because I can’t even imagine choosing to interview anyone for a job if they’re recently out of college regardless of what college or university it is.
The other advice I would offer a young girl is: if your female role models were anything like mine, and I hope they were, they really wanted the best for you and did their best to make sure you knew you deserved the same equal opportunity as everyone else. My role models hadn’t had that equal opportunity as a given, and I appreciated that they worked hard to make my experience different from theirs. It was. But as much as I enjoy what I do, I think that in their zeal to trailblaze a new path that sometimes they forgot to include the message
that if you want to be nothing more than an incredible mother, that’s just as good and valid as any other option you choose to pursue (if not better since those genetically gifted to be mothers is only halfish of the population).
Fantastic advice. 🙏
I have a son and a daughter 14 months apart who just finished fresh(person) year at two separate state schools in TN. Son’s not going back next year: thinking about doing ‘The 18” Journey “ with Jonothan and Melissa Helser. Search Cagelessbirds.
Culinary Institute of America, the tasty CIA, in Poughkeepsie, NY used to be very good return on investment, with employers waiting.
Mike Rowe has an apprenticeship program. There was someone else like Rowe, but more simply matching people with interest to people who want NON-BA or BS degreed talent. Employers know what a crock of troubles those degrees from WOKE FORESTS represent.
Unfortunately, a woman doesn't find out if she's in that "gifted halfish" until after she's committed to birthing an unconsenting new soul into this inferno called "life".
As ill-advised and as ruinous as college is for most, it doesn't compare to the permanent calamity of having a child one is unfit or unprepared to raise, both emotionally and financially. A blunder on that account will harm the young mother, of course....but more importantly, it dooms an innocent child into a permanent and inescapable nightmare.
Excellent.
Hi Tess. Thanks for all the great advice. It seems the subjects she likes most are those in which she likes the teacher. Last year it was Latin and biology. This year it was Latin and business. She would like to be a doctor or PA but the plan is to start with nursing rather than premed because she’s not a straight A honor student, more A-B in a mix of advanced and honors, and unfortunately I don’t think her SAT scores will be high enough for med school.
She enjoys mock trial club, wrote for the school newspaper last year but there’s no print version so nobody reads it, loves to play volleyball but wasn’t good enough to make our highly competitive team, is not musical but has high social intelligence and loves being where there’s lots of people. She enjoys baking, working, and shopping. When she was younger, she followed the stocks of some favorite companies, including Ulta, and made some money when her aunt gave her half of the gain she made by buying Ulta on her advice (granted pretty much every stock was increasing in those days).
I’m also the daughter of a mechanic, and of a stay at home mom. Neither attended college. I had the smarts for it, but they didn’t have the understanding of how to guide me there and I have always been lazy unfortunately.
I myself have been a stay at home mom mostly, though by now I have become a pretty integral part of my husband’s landscape architecture practice. I feel I missed out by not going to college and know I could not have supported myself and my children had we ever divorced. I don’t want her to be in the same position. And when she’s asked at a party what she does for a living, I want her to have a respectable answer, even if it’s: I’m a stay at home mom, but I used to (fill in the blank).
I think she’d make a great recruiter of some type but neither of us has any real exposure to someone in that role.
I’m planning to have her take the meyers Briggs and the strong assessment to help us narrow down the career options.
If she’s interested in tech or coding at all, I think there are a few programs like this that prioritize students getting a job when they graduate. I realize part of why she wants is the full college experience and this would not fit that bill, but for affordability and function might be worth looking into.
https://www.bloomtech.com
Thank you. I’ll check it out.
I got my basic EMT license the summer after I graduated high school - this would be a great way for her to get her foot in the door in the medical field so she could decide if it’s something she really wants to pursue without the full college commitment up front. For me it was a 9 credit hour course that I did at the local community college - the ambulance ride alongs and hospital ER shifts will help her figure out fairly quickly whether or not it’s something she wants to pursue and, if so, give her a launchpad to get in the door and the skills for a related part-time job too.
Great idea. Thanks!
It's truly a conundrum. If she stays at home and stays in conversation with you, you could off-set the indoctrination. Maybe. I used to watch TV with my kids and comment on the subtext, and how they were being given subliminal messages. It really helped keep them alert to programming. But they were kids, and they tend to stop listening to parents around 15-17, so not sure that would work in college. Paying for indoctrination is an insult of course, just like paying for our phones to spy on us. I don't know. But a college degree is really not necessary to supporting oneself - that is going away. Maybe if she has any ideas for her own business, you could support that instead of paying tuition? My bet is that's where we're going. Old model, dying.
Thanks, Kathleen. I’ve been trying to think of some kind of financial incentive to at least maybe encourage her to commute locally, but the Covid jab requirements here are a problem, and she really would love to have the old fashioned college experience, if that exists anymore.
I don't think it does really exist anymore, sadly. It's tough, my partner going through the same thing. Good luck.
Thanks! Good luck to you two as well!
😊