Gospel of the Covidian Borg
Testify before the insane and you will be assimilated.
“The purpose of the insane asylum was to protect the sane from the insane and the insane from themselves. A nation that normalizes and mainstreams mental illness is no longer a nation but a very large insane asylum with no refuge for the sane.”
— T. Goode Charley
The light and the darkness. The kind and the cruel. The strong and the weak. The brave and the cowards. The thoughtful and the Covidian Borg.
It must never end. There are five stages to a pandemic and we are always just in the first stage. Book of Fauci 2:14
Covidian Borg Support Meeting Day 21 - Zoom Room 9881883CPX12
My name is Braxton, my pronouns are it and its. I live in Williamsburg with five friends. So, like, it hasn’t been easy for me lately cause I get anxious a lot. My psych has upped my dosages of Paxil and Xanax, but it doesn’t seem to help much. I feel like maybe I’m getting dependent on them or something. I don’t know. I’m kind of like many of you right now with so much unclear about like, regulations and safety in public. I try to go out more but you just never know in a city. It’s hard to know what places are safe and which ones just don’t care anymore.
Like, one Sushi place near Prospect Park didn’t check my QR code to see if I had my fourth booster, which I was so excited to get after Fauci said it works against Omicron. I’ve like, been waiting five months inside my room for the Omicron booster and then like, nobody cares that I got it. One of my house mates didn’t even get the second booster. I told him to keep far away, to like just walk the other way if he sees me. I have about twenty binax now tests in my room and if he passes too close to me, I’ll test myself the next day just to make sure. One of my other house mates Taylor and I are wondering if we should report him to the city health services and the state health board for the capture and quarantine program, but I don’t know, it seems like maybe too much. He just like doesn’t care and puts us all in danger and you never know, like the next variant could come from him since he’s unvaccinated now and so we are thinking about it. I have the number here by my computer. But I did report that Sushi place for not checking my QR code and I think the city will shut them down, so there’s some good news.
The unvaccinated are creating the variants. Hotezidus 1:23
Covidian Borg Support Meeting Day 43 - Zoom Room 3218463IOX19
Hi everyone, my name is Alesandro, I’m non-binary, trans, polyamorist, Mayan two spirit, my pronouns are he/her. I’m originally from Guatemala but I was adopted and live in West Hollywood with my six boyfriends. Well actually it’s five now. We just voted out one who refused to get the fourth booster. He was becoming a total antivaxxer with just bad vibes all around. But it’s all good now. So, like the past two months have been really rough for me. Especially since they moved the school board meetings back to in-person despite my change.org petition getting like thousands of signatures which we got from my work from home hashtag campaign #WFHforever which almost went viral on twitter.
So, I serve on the school board and am constantly fighting for like, every safety measure and it’s becoming such a battle. They’re seriously talking about unmasking the kids. I don’t have any kids but like seriously, parents reach out to me all the time and say they’re worried if their kids are around other kids who are unmasked. And like teachers are threatening to quit if kids aren’t masked. Some groups are trying to literally force the teachers to mask too, but they say it’s just the kids who need them and like the science shows that’s totally true so I’m really trying to fight for both parents and teachers. So, it’s been super stressful but we’ll get through it. Then there’s the whole issue with unboosted kids at school. Some of them have only had their 2nd booster and they really should be up to number four by now. We’re trying to get a county wide mandate but if they don’t do it then we’ll just pass it at the next school board meeting.
Being in LA is hard. There are so many people and we know at least twenty percent of them are antivaxxers or stopped getting their boosters months ago which basically makes them antivaxxers now. I’ve been looking at jobs in New York, Illinois and Washington since they have the capture programs already and it’s safer to have in person school board meetings but they say California will get one soon, so. I guess we just wait and cross our fingers that lawmakers will do the right thing. Part of me really doesn’t want to leave because my boyfriends are here and like next month we have daily pride parades, it’s gonna be so good to get out in person for that, but like with really strong QR code enforcement for every participant so it’ll be totally safe.
This is a pandemic of the unvaccinated. Do your patriotic duty, get vaccinated, get vaccinated, get the vaccine. If you get it, you can’t get the virus.
Demented Revelations 2:13
The active and the passive. The calm and the hysterical. The disciplined and the lazy. The empathic and the narcissistic. The sane and the Covidian Borg.
55% of Democrats endorse the notion of fines on unjabbed Americans
59% of Democrats favor house arrest for the unjabbed
48% of Democrats favor either/or fines or imprisonment for those who question the efficacy of the jab on social media, TV, radio, online,
29% of Democrats want kids taken away from parents who are unjabbed
45% of Democrats favor forced resettlement of the unjabbed to government-operated facilities
https://www.rasmussenreports.com
At that time I said to you, “You are too heavy a burden for me to carry alone. The Vaccine your God has boosted your numbers so that today you are as numerous as the stars in the sky.”
Pfizeronomy 4:15
Covidian Borg Support Meeting Day 55 - Zoom Room 77134633TAX29
Hi I’m Kaya. My pronouns are she and her. I live in the Boulder area. I’m a registered nurse who has been working the front lines in the pandemic fight since the start. Thanks guys, ohhh, that’s so sweet, thank you. I have a TikTok if you all want to follow me at dances with scrubs, all one word. I choregraph routines with our entire ICU RN team. It’s pretty cool.
So, things are getting better now that there are no more antivaxxers working at the hospital, thanks to the awesome supreme court for that! We don’t have to report to VAERS unless the families insist on it. We no longer have to wait to administer effective treatments like Remdesivir. We can just get them hooked up right away as soon as they walk in. Sometimes if they have trouble breathing we just go straight to the ventilator whereas before there were some doctors who prescribed oxygen, vitamins and budesonide inhalers to treat pneumonia, but since they’re all gone we can just follow the federal protocols in the book and it’s totally seamless and it just makes my job so much easier and the doctors too. We just look at the matrix for every patient and the hospital administrators have our backs. There’s no need to fuss with special diagnosis and stuff, so that’s the good news for all of you out there worried about ending up in hospitals and being treated by antivaxxers. The bad news is Colorado still doesn’t have a capture program yet so there are still a ton of them out on the streets in public unmasked and terrorizing the communities. The state senate will vote next week on a full capture program like Washington has and it should pass, so things will be better real soon. That’s it. Oh and don’t forget to follow me on TikTok, dances with scrubs!
This crisis was a great opportunity to reset the world. Schwab 6:66
Covidian Borg Support Meeting Day 76 - Zoom Room 5502117IQW16
I’m Tristan. My pronouns are they and theirs. I’m originally from Fresno but thank God my mother moved us back to Venice Beach when I was in high school. This is my first time speaking. It’s never easy for me to speak in front of a live audience so I’ve been kind of avoiding it but recently something major happened and I just need to talk about it. So, um, like, I didn’t leave my studio for like two years and then started going out after Omicron because I finally got my bubble helmet with dual hepa filters which was on back order and took like nine months with all the shipping delays and supply chain issues and stuff, so I finally felt safe to go outside and I met some friends at a taco place just two blocks away. When I got there it was way crowded and half the people weren’t even wearing masks but I was wearing my bubble helmet. Both my friends said they were going to wear theirs also but only one did, so it was like kinda uncomfortable with the other friend. He’s not an antivaxxer or anything like that but he’s like, more of a risk taker I guess. So, they couldn’t really hear me talking very clearly. I guess it was loud, but anyway I had like a major panic attack the more people I saw around me without masks, cause I didn’t know if the hepa filters would protect me or not. They were eating so I couldn’t really complain about them but it just sent me into like a major spiral. Now I have worse agoraphobia than I did before. I wasn’t always like this but the past few years it’s been just so much worse. As a kid I was actually much different than I am now.
I remember from an early age watching my mother put the car seat in the back of our family Subaru. The clips would never tighten enough to secure the seat all the way against the back of the headrest. My dad would offer to help but she would angrily yell at him to stay away. When she finally got it in, I’d climb in and she’d strap me in both the horizontal and cross straps under my arm and then I’d ask if I could wear my bike helmet just in case and she smiled and said, “Of course dear.” My mother was a real girl boss. She didn’t need a man for anything. I think that’s where I got like, a lot of things, like my deep strength and fearlessness and my passion for like seizing the day and stuff.
Anyway I try to remember her and the values she taught me. She was in the hospital with serious covid and they put her on a ventilator. She was there for like a month and I couldn’t see her and they told me she wouldn’t make it. She died but the doctors assured me it would have been way worse if she wasn’t double jabbed, so like, that was comforting to know.
Despite this difficult time, I try to stay encouraged. Governor Newsom has been saying for like months he’s going to start detaining the antivaxxers like they’re doing in New York and Washington, but I only hear of one or two people here and there and like, there are literally thousands of them walking around every day out there and it’s just not safe, even with my bubble helmet. I’ve been looking at places in New York and Seattle because like, there you know all the antivaxxers are already in camps, at least most of them so it’s way way safer than here right now. Anyway, thanks for listening.
Then all of you came to me and said, “Let us send men ahead to spy out the unbelievers for us and bring back a report about the route we are to take and the camps we will take them to.” Gatesverbs 5:22
The modest and the pretentious. The coherent and the confused. The free and the slave. The rational and the Covidian Borg.
Covidian Borg Support Meeting Day 94 - Zoom Room 22889017IZZ16
Hi everyone it’s Braxton in Williamsburg Brooklyn again. My pronouns are it and its. I haven’t spoken in a few months but I’m happy to report things are getting like so much better here. My house mate Taylor and I finally called the state health authorities on our other house mate who refused like the last four boosters, and he even stopped wearing a mask in the kitchen and common areas of the house so that was like, the final straw for us. They came so fast and we just told them everything, that we didn’t feel safe anymore and like, he was putting us in danger and all we had to do was like sign some papers and promise to testify before a court to all the charges against him in six months. Until then, he’s been taken to a antivaxxer facility upstate and it was just really easy and we feel so much safer here now. I even lowered my anxiety meds and can walk outside with social distancing easier. I haven’t felt this encouraged in a while. Plus, the State capture team, the one that came here, they offered me a job and I start next week. It’s my first job since my last company started requiring in-person work and let me go, and it’s work from home so it’s like, perfect for me. All I have to do is collect social media posts of antivaxxers and cross them with white pages addresses and create their family and friend networks and just send each file to the capture teams who will cross reference the data with state vaccination records. I’m really good on social so it’s like perfect for me. I’m so excited.
The sound and the fury. The signal and the noise. The joyful and the miserable. The thriving and the dead. The lonely and the Covidian Borg.
“With carefully nourished resentment, a man can go through his life blaming someone or something else for his failures. This enables him to be a failure and to feel morally superior to the world at the same time.“ — Theodore Dalrymple
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Hilarious, sad and infuriating all at the same time. I'm a high school teacher in So. California and Alesandro's testimony may have well been an actual transcript from one of our myriad Zoom meetings over the last 18 months. Pathetic and unbelievable at this point.
Brilliant piece of (hopefully scifi future dystopian) writing.