Let's Talk About X Baby
Where the point meets an online extortion racket.
For a few months this year, I was flirting with the idea of going steady with X, maybe picking her up in my Ford Pinto and taking her to the point.
Where are you guys going?
I dunno. Maybe the point.
And in July I finally pulled the trigger and created an “X” profile after being booted off Twitter five times during the plandemic for using words like piano and wire with names like Fauci and Gates.
Anyway, I mostly asked her out so I could monitor the latest and greatest “trends” to fill some posts with digital copy-and-paste content, but now I want something more.
The problem with this chick is she won’t put out unless I pay up. I thought if I took her to the Pizza Hut or All American Burger she might be happy.
But it’s just not enough.
She gives all her attention to the other sugar daddies who pay $188 for the blue check mark of algorithmic love.
Case Study #258
See time of post, blue checks, and views.
@MuyMachoGrande gets 66 views (not planned Freemason enthusiasts and critics) while other sugar daddies get 1,600 and 2,400 views in the same eight minutes, without having many followers and without saying anything great…
I saw Ms. Owens's post was as fresh as a crisp, newly fallen snowflake with top surgery stitches and decided to test my theory that those who don’t pay, even if they’re first, don’t get any algorithmic love.
So I whipped up a quick one-liner, the first true thing that came to my mind, and beat all the other attention whores to the punchline, and we went down in the dugout and played Jackson Browne on my boombox, but still, nothing!
Not even a peck on the cheek.
This chick X doesn’t reward creativity or speed, or Jackson Browne.
She’s loose and she’s fast, and she only has one gear—$ th gear!
The truth is, I’m getting tired of fantasizing about her.
Anyway, should I give her what she wants—$188— and risk getting rejected, as in having my account blocked or frozen again for improper thoughts and speech?
Or should I keep that money and buy another eight silver buffalo rounds?
I really want to make it with this X girl, so I think I’m gonna do it, I’m going to finally do it. I’m going to talk to Mike Damone and see if he has any tips to ask her out.
And this time I’ll take her to the fanciest joint in town for Knockwurst and Cokes and I won’t forget my wallet.
I’m going deep on X and I won’t be pulling out.
So follow me @MuyMachoGrande if you’re on X, and we’ll start a running timer until I’m finished. Place your bets...
Have a good weekend Good Citizens! I find that not reading or watching anything about our brave new world helps make it so.
I’ll catch you all next week, somewhere on the dark side of Stanley Kubrick’s Nevada film set with some fresh essays finally, and the first episode of Good Citizen Radio Bleats. It’s NOT a podcast!
Yours in sickness and in health, in liberty or tyranny, until censorship due us part,
The Good Citizen
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Maybe you should stop dating prostitutes if you don't want to pay them.
Let me offer some sage advice handed down to me from the prophet Damone:
First of all, GS, you never let on how much you like a girl. "Oh, X. Hi."
Two, you always call the shots. "Kiss me. You won't regret it."
Now three, act like wherever you are, that's the place to be. "Isn't this great?"
Four, when ordering food, you find out what she wants, then order for the both of ya. It's a classy move. "Now, the lady will have the linguini and white clam sauce, and a Coke with no ice."
And five – now this is the most important, GS. When it comes down to making out, whenever possible, put on side one of Led Zeppelin IV."