Spooking The Beast
MrBeast spent his teenage years figuring out the master formula for algorithmic attention extraction and commodification in this age we might as well call goldfish swimming in a digital idiocracy bowl.
This won’t be another tired moan about a guy who uses his money to do good things, and films it, so he can make more money in order to give more of it away, even if his videos of hyper cuts for ADHD sufferers induce greater ADHD and are all about worshipping material things and money, and all the trappings of being a half-witted consooomer in a late stage empire.
We don’t have time to waste on anything like that.
Besides, Jimmy seems like a good kid.
He cracked the code.
The game show-ification of pranks with strangers who express their eternal gratitude for Jimmy’s generosity.
He’s generous for sure. So were Bob Barker’s bosses at CBS, but games shows are so 1970s.
Jimmy took The Price Is Right, and inseminated it with Fear Factor and Jackass, except he took out the edge, the risk, and even any effort.
Random strangers win money and things while cameras are rolling.
It makes him feel good to see others feel gratitude. People like watching it.
Good on him.
Human behavior is a peculiar thing in late-stage collapsing empires, where medical bills can bankrupt 70% of the empire’s debt slaves overnight, and where there are certain incomparable excesses to any other period in human history that need wasting: time, attention, and funny money backed by nothing.
That’s actually a lie. So was that! There were really two lies before.
There are no excesses of time, only choices on how to occasion its passing.
There are no excesses of attention, only choices on where to focus it.
The economy of attention is not the same thing as the attention economy but people just don’t have the time to pay attention to any of that.
They hardly know why they pay attention to what they do.
They rarely stop and ask.
They don’t seem to place much value on time anymore.
Perhaps they never did.
Rome never had algorithmic curation, dancing nurses during a fake pandemic, or nanographene-laced injectables to turn newly arrived slaves from Gaul into shackled transmitters and receivers if not victims of SADS.
But Rome did have the philosopher Seneca, one of the wisest men of his time. He thought a lot about time and attention and wrote a book on the shortness of life.
It is not that we have a short space of time, but that we waste much of it. Life is long enough, and it has been given in sufficiently generous measure to allow the accomplishment of the very greatest things if the whole of it is well invested. But when it is squandered in luxury and carelessness, when it is devoted to no good end, forced at last by the ultimate necessity we perceive that it has passed away before we were aware that it was passing.
So it is—the life we receive is not short, but we make it so.
— Seneca
Two thousand years of time separate two distinctly dysfunctional empires that embraced fascinating distractions.
Bread and Circuses.
The Roman poet Juvenal said, “Give them bread and circuses and they will never revolt.”
Give them Grubhub, victimhood, and Self-castration and they will never know their purpose.
Give them BPA, phthalates, chemtrails, thimerosal vaccines, multiplayer worlds, high fructose corn syrup, drone delivery, La-Z-boys, fluoridated water, autopilot, AI, VR, fantasy sports, nightly arena games, crypto mooning, gender “affirming” clinics, SSRIs, pocket computers with GPS to locate chemical castration centers, plus fireworks and hot dog eating contests and they will never have time enough to spare to know who or what to revolt against.
When MrBeast posted his first YouTube video there were five gender “care” clinics for parents to take their groomed and indoctrinated children to be sacrificed to a cult of wickedness and debasement.
Today, just eight years later there are more than fifty. Doctor$ just love all that “affirmation” of confusion.
How did that happen so quickly?
Wasn’t anyone paying attention?
When testosterone was still measurable in men, Rome’s Circus Maximus and Colosseum hosted chariot races, gladiator brawls, and savage lion feasts.
Today androgenous simps whine about speech being ‘literally violence’ on Reddit.
Discord hosts bizarrely organized chat-a-thons.
Zoom hosts corporate WFH snooze fests so China can use every face to update its global AI recognition software.
OnlyFans reflects back to coomers their self-worth as they send the last of their Amazon warehouse check to a tatted-up thot with swollen lips and ass implants in Jersey.
TikTok and Twitch are clear signs of end times.
If they were around during the cold war people would have begged for an end to detente with the Soviet Union and just one guy with slippery fingers.
Everyone under thirty-five aspires to be the ultimate attention extractor like MrBeast. Each iteration of robotic aspirants knows they’re special, and are certain that what they think and feel, and believe will be worthy of sharing with others.
They know this because their teachers and parents have affirmed their “lived experience.”
The more ‘non-conforming’ the more special they feel, and the more valid their “lived experience” appears.
People used to have reading rooms and libraries at home, but now they have green rooms and neon-lit gaming setups, with periscoping $500 microphones for gender confessionals.
In the fifties, kids wanted to be astronauts, in the sixties they wanted to be movie stars, by the eighties rock stars, and after the digital dispersion of cultural consumption and production, nobody wanted to have any creative talent anymore.
They just wanted to share and be seen and heard without having to do any work.
Guitar Hero replaced strings with buttons and simulated an audience that affirms the brilliance of the guitar-button-presser in their own living room.
Reality TV made acting redundant. Why have drama and stories performed when they can be curated for fractions of the cost from desperate people seeking celebrity?
Now we have an entire generation of “Influencers.” Historians will look back on this era and see that influencers were simply attention extractors on algorithmic curation platforms for goldfish.
Today there are more podcasts than all the dead goldfish ever flushed down toilets.
I thought about going that route here but immediately nixed it when I searched a database of existing podcast names and found the two names I wanted weren’t available.
You know there are too many podcasts when Not Another Podcast (NAP) and Not Another Stupid Fucking Podcast are already taken.
I’ll stick with bleatings through the written word.
The written word has survived many tests and it’ll be around long after all this madness collapses in on itself.
Substack is a fine refuge from the late-stage empire distractology and gloom.
Attention extraction here is different. It’s served with minimal cyberbegging.
The Beast, aka Jimmy Donaldson (24) will soon hit 150 Million attention-givers on his main YouTube channel. After consulting WuTang Financial he diversified his portfolio to 30+ channels that bring in roughly $4 million of monthly revenue.
Throw in cookies, clothing lines, and burger joints, thousands of sponsors on knee pads begging to give him loot and it’s probably double that.
His average video will get more views in the first ten minutes after it hits the digital ether than all cable news networks combined for a week.
And that’s not a bad thing. There’s probably more to be gleaned from watching desperate strangers take money than watching droids read teleprompters programmed from Langley.
As I published earlier this year in a terrifically uplifting piece 101 Steps To Enslave Humanity, we’re living in an era of deadly new religions.
They didn’t just pop up overnight but have been part of an ongoing agenda for nearly two centuries if we trace its origins back to Darwin and Darwin’s cousin Francis Galton, and the British Eugenics movement.
One of them (IN BOLD) stands out much more than the others in terms of its sudden emergence into the social body and even popular culture, but it’s all part of one interconnected agenda which even MrBeast with tens of millions of fawning children suspiciously can’t escape.
New Religions
Scientism
An expert class (high priests) that determines selected truths to frame perceptions to alter human behavior
Dogmas like “Follow the Science” and “Trust the Science” or “The Science is Settled” and “Science Denier”
Ritualistic behavior affirming “The Science” (masks, castration, buying EVs, getting vaccines)
Technological Solutionism
Artificial Intelligence (superior to humans)
Data Collection for Surveillance Capitalism (control humans)
Robotics and Automation to render human labor (existence) redundant
Transhumanism (Eugenics Contd.)
Altering human DNA
Gender Confusion and Abolition for Androgynous Transformation (WE ARE HERE)
Genetic injections posing as “vaccines”
Announcing the ‘end of humans’ as an agenda
MrBeast began making videos with his friend Chris Tyson, a goofy but fun-loving kid with a southern drawl and a knack for comedic timing.
Chris was MrBeast’s sidekick “influencer” gaining his own millions of followers.
A year ago Chris Tyson left his wife and two-year-old son.
Apparently, he was always bisexual and early this year began his transformation which included hormone replacement therapy or chemical castration and laser hair removal on his face.
He has grown his hair long, lost about twenty pounds, painted his fingernails, and wears women’s clothing.
Chris, the Robin to MrBeast’s Batman, an “influencer” with 150 million attention givers, the vast majority of whom are children, is in the process of “affirming” his true self.
MrBeast has always had 3-4 regulars who appear in his videos but Chris was the guy who was there from the beginning of the channel’s creation.
As a former poker player, I like to think of major events happening in the world, particularly those most heavily advertised by corporations and corporate media through statistical probabilities.
With the help of GPT4, I calculated the odds of Sabrina the Teenage Witch having three different children at or near three different school shootings in three different states.
It was ~1 in 4,629,630,000,000,000,000,000 (4.63 Sextillion)
It’s a means of generally determining the likelihood of something being organic and random, or phony and staged, like former child actresses appearing at school shootings and then on corporate media to act sad and give the impression that school shootings are so ubiquitous that the only solution is to ban guns.
What is the statistical probability that a guy, who knew he was bisexual at age 16 but couldn’t come out of the closet then (North Carolina), decides to wait until he’s married, with a young son, and years beyond financial security to finally come out as bisexual trans and begin his “affirmation” process?
Thirty years ago 4-6% of the population identified with the alphabet people, but less than 0.3% of the population suffered gender confusion.
That seemed about a natural figure, one that was an accurate representation of any of the four letters of “representation” at that time even if the first three resented the addition of the fourth.
Today nearly a quarter of Generation Z claim they “identify” as one of the many letters or symbols in the new alphabet stew. As Bill Maher joked about this confusing and ridiculous trend, “At this rate by 2030 we’ll all be gay.”
What became a legitimate fight for equality and acceptance by Gen X in the 1980s and 1990s, has morphed into a fast fad for social capital with a thoroughly confused and brainwashed young generation being indoctrinated into a transhumanist cult in real time through every “influencing” avenue the cultists can manipulate.
And these poor kids and their moronic parents have no idea just how much they’re being manipulated.
This brings us back to the statistical probability of the largest YouTube channel’s #2 figure abandoning his son, divorcing his wife, and transitioning from male to female in 2023 at the age of 25 with tens of millions of young kids watching it happen in real-time.
I’m not saying it’s a fix.
But I’m not saying it isn’t either.
Are you still even paying attention?
Spook 1: Jimmy, we’re not here to frighten you. We’re just here to give you a choice.
Spook 2: You’ve become too big and powerful Jimmy, and what comes with great power Jimmy?
MrBeast: Great responsibility?
Spook 1: That’s right Jimmy. You have to assume responsibility for the impressions you leave on your young audience.
MrBeast: Am I doing too many dangerous videos? I can do fewer stunts.
Spook 2: No, Jimmy, we don’t care about that. Keep doing whatever works for you, whatever gets millions and millions of young people to give you their time and attention.
MrBeast: Are you guys like, subscribers?
Spook 1: Listen Jimmy, this is serious. Are you a serious man?
MrBeast: I can be.
Spook 2: Can you be a serious woman?
MrBeast: Uhhh, I don’t understand…
Spook 2: It’s a simple question Jimmy, can you be a serious woman?
MrBeast: Is this a trick question?
Spook 1: Answer the question Jimmy!
MrBeast: Uhhh, sure, yes.
Spook 2: Good. Then we need you to transition.
MrBeast: To what? Uhh, okay, this is getting weird…
Spook 1: Great responsibility Jimmy. You have the power, do you want to keep it or not?
MrBeast: Are you guys with YouTube? Wait, are you threatening to shut down my channel…
Spook 2: We’re not threatening anything Jimmy. The choice is yours.
MrBeast: So you want me to become a woman? I don’t get it, what’s the catch?
Spook 1: No catch Jimmy. We have a schedule and we need to keep to it. Time’s running out. This young generation will be the last and we need your help to make sure of it.
MrBeast: What does being a woman have to do with…
Spook 2: You’re going to have to transition to a woman. You’re confused Jimmy. Just admit it. Come out of the closet Jim. You’ve always wondered what it would be like to wear make-up and have breasts…
MrBeast: No! None of that’s true!
Spook 2: If you don’t do it, then it has to be someone on your team, and it has to be public. Very public.
MrBeast: Get out of here! Now! You’re crazy!
Spook 1: Fine Jimmy, you made your choice. Your channels will be dethrottled. Subscribers will disappear. Advertisers will no longer call you. There will be boycotts. Beast Burgers will run out of capital. Within five years nobody will know who you are anymore.
MrBeast: I don’t believe you guys. You can’t do that..
Spook 2: We aren’t guys Jimmy, we’re both gender non-conforming. The CIA doesn’t hire men anymore. Remember Casey Neistat? Neither does anyone else. He wouldn’t transition to female in 2019 so...
MrBeast: Chris is a homo! So is Karl! I caught them in a tent one time when we were camping. One of them will do it!
Jimmy and Chris, or Xtina or whatever zer lived experience affirms will never want for anything after all the fame and fortune that has befallen zem. Maybe less confusion, but that can't be bought.
With millions of young followers, they will be influencing the next ten thousand chemical castrations. They’ll be affirming the next ten percent increase in teenage suicides.
They’ll think they’re being tolerant and generous and helpful, but they’ll be contributing to the sacrifices of new sick and twisted religions at the intersection of the cults of transhumanism and eugenics.
No amount of money can teach them that.
Well, actually for only $77 they could have learned it here.
But there are ways to be in this world that cannot account for wealth or “influencing” by giving away millions of dollars a year to debt slaves on hard times in a late-stage empire.
Wealth cannot cure gender confusion through propaganda and generational manipulation any more than castration or the buzzing chirps of a zillion “affirming” tweets.
As the great Roman Seneca the Younger also said: “Wealth is the slave of a wise man. The master of a fool.”
While he was one of the wisest Romans, he was also one of the wealthiest, amassing a fortune of 300 million sestertii, or nearly a hundred times the average senator.
MrBeast is also amassing a fortune, even while giving it away. There is no greater reward today than appearing to be virtuous even through performative generosity sponsored by corporations that will pay itself back tenfold in the extraction of billions of minutes of human attention labor.
Is all his wealth his slave or his master?
If only MrBeast was paying attention instead of spending all his time trying to monetize other people’s.
He could do infinitely more good for the world now if his wealth was knowledge.
But who has time for that?
In one of his most viewed videos, he pays to have 1000 people cured of blindness.
As a blindfolded sheep, I can think of no more noble and righteous cause.
Now who will pay to cure his?
Contribute To The ‘Cure Blind Sheep Dividend Fund’
Fixed Income Pensioner Discount (honor system)
Student Discount (valid .edu email)
Thanks for sharing.
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In the rush to lay themselves at the alter of wokeness there seems to be no limits to what people will do, including sacrificing their children. It makes me sad as a grandparent seeing the future the monsters in charge are trying to create and the complicity of the general public. Late stage empire definitely.
Thanks GC for another great writing but, depressing as hell.
Going to get on the bike and let the wind and sunshine clear my mind.
"They’ll think they’re being tolerant and generous and helpful, but they’ll be contributing to the sacrifices of new sick and twisted religions at the intersection of the cults of transhumanism and eugenics."
The road to hell is paved by the go along to get alongs.