Polish Submarines

Two pipes, only one smoked.

A little-known fact about the Polish navy, the Poles designed the first submarine with screen doors that don’t stick.

Suffice it to say, no other military was interested in the technology and the Polish navy and Polish politicians now rely solely on the U.S. to be their bruising doorman and full-time cooler. You know, just in case the local boys working for Brad Vladimirovich Wesley bring trouble to the Kielbasa roadhouse.

Cooler: There are entirely too many troublemakers near Poland’s eastern borders. Seventy-year-old former KGB adolescents, vodka power drinkers, and trustees of nuclear chemistry.

Poland: But we can’t handle one on one.

Cooler: You don’t have to. Always underestimate your opponent.

Poland: But what if Russia calls us Polacks?

Cooler: Be nice.

Poland: When are we gonna blow up the gas pipelines?

Cooler: Yes.

Poland has the best damn cooler in the region.

If there’s one nation that would have taken tremendous delight in the recent NS1 and NS2 pipeline sabotage it’s Poland. No other country had quintuple motives, not even the U.S.

Poland’s Motives.

1. An opportunity to stick it hard to Russia

2. An opportunity to stick it hard to Germany at the same time

3. An opportunity to brag about it with the U.S. while declaring Poland the new military center of the continent, shifting NATOs crosshairs 800km closer to Russia

4. An opportunity to demand Germany pay Trillion$ in WW2 reparations the week after losing 40% of their potential energy supply while bragging about it (double rogering for Germany)

5. An opportunity to demand the Empire of Lies bring Nuclear weapons to Polish soil aimed at Russia a week after sabotaging the last of their leverage over the EU while bragging about it (double rogering for Russia)

Poland really thinks its shit doesn’t stink.

Poles are engineered from the womb to hate Russia and Germany and to harness that hatred all their lives. It’s Poland’s Social-Governmental Molotov-Ribbentrop pact with no domestic deserters or dissenters allowed.

Poles will never forget how they carved up her land last century and the one before that (and the one before that) and will do everything it can politically and militarily to see that it happens again as soon as possible with the help of the toughest cooler in town.

Be nice.

And now there’s evidence that maybe the Polish military had direct involvement with the pipeline sabotage. Well, it’s more of a hunch based on the outcome.

It turns out NS1 and NS2 are made up of two pipelines each, and of the four, one of them is still working.

According to some Internet sleuths, there’s still a pipeline flowing from Russia to Germany “…capable of transporting 27.5 billion cubic meters of gas per year…which for comparison is 50% of the total capacity of NS1 and 2.5 times more than the new pipeline from Norway to Poland.”

Oopsie. They must have sent the new inclusive and highly diverse and therefore very strong LGBTQWERTY+-%= Seal Team Sex to do the job.

Or maybe they sent some Poles?

Poland is so righteously sticking it to Russia and Germany right now, they’re calling on households to burn trash to keep warm and Poland already has some of the worst air quality in the world.

On some winter days, Chinese and Indian cities have better air quality than Katowice and Krakow, the second and third-largest cities in Poland. Nearly 50,000 Poles will see an early death each year from poor air quality because millions of homes are still burning wood and coal. Except there’s not enough wood and the higher quality cleaner coal used to come from Russia.

The academic year just started and Universities are moving classes online part-time, but not because of a sniffles virus. They need to save electricity.

There’s an endless supply of cheap energy right next door, but Brad Wesley isn’t allowed near the Kielbasa roadhouse anymore.

Be nice.

Coming soon: Rolling blackouts and snitching on neighbors who don’t join the collective energy rationing.

Sticking it to Russia never looked so cool.

When the “special military operations” kicked off in Ukraine and the western media commanded everyone to change their focus on the new current thing by putting blue and yellow flags everywhere and donating money to Nazi-loving oligarchs while their own governments looted their tax money to send to the same Nazi-loving oligarchs, it was like the whole world went mad at the same time and on command.

It quickly morphed into a virtue-signaling game of who could stick it to Russia and Putin the hardest. Everyone wanted in on the action. From governments who got on their knees for U.S. neocon and neoliberal rats in the district of corruption, to their corporate partners Starbucks, Ikea, and McDonald’s, to Hollyweird douche nozzles like Sean Penn and Ben Stiller making the holy pilgrimage to meet the poison dwarf in Keev. Hell, even the All England lawn tennis club of uppity butt plugs at Wimbledon canceled Russian players.

Nothing was off limits.

Nobody could ever go too far to cancel Russia, Russians, or Putin.

But it’s nine months later and the only assholes still playing this childish game are the cocaine poison dwarf in Keeev, whose pockets and ego will never be full, and his psychotic Polish friends to the north.

It’s 4 AM at the comedy club and these two clowns are performing for nobody. Even the German janitor whose hair they set on fire has tired of the act and gone home.

The poison dwarf did a set yesterday about how the U.S. and NATO need to do preemptive nuclear strikes on Russia.

Seriously.

The demented club’s owner put on a performance last night warning of the possibility of Nuclear Armageddon with absolutely no words about his own role in bringing the world to this point and making no remarks about how he’s in a position to completely stop all the madness with one phone call.

It’s like a Mayor dousing every inch of the village with gasoline and holding a matchbook in his hand while giving a speech to the villagers that the situation has become precarious and their entire lives could go up in flames at any moment for circumstances that are completely out of his hands.

Thank God the adults are in charge again.

Those mean tweets were dangerous.

Putin’s patience with these clowns is otherworldly.

How much longer can he restrain himself?

With one gesture he could send a hypersonic MOAB to the poison dwarf’s desk while he’s snorting Colombian snow.

That’s one bomb the entire world should be begging for ASAP before the dwarf gets everything on his Christmas list and there’s no Christmas this year for anyone.

Assuming cooler heads prevail and the U.S. isn’t organizing all these nuclear headlines as a psyop for a plutonium false flag in Ukraine, the question will hover until the next Baltic frogmen expedition:

When will they finish the job and blow up NS2 pipe Zwei?

Der Winter Kommt and the temptation will always be there.

In a few months, the shivering Germans will look at NS2 pipe Zwei across the frigid Baltic and then turn and look across the room at the telephone with Putin’s number on speed dial and get some ideas about not turning into popsicles.

And Team America will have to remind them when it comes to Germans freezing this winter they have ways of making them stop having ideas about calling Russia to stay warm at an affordable cost.

There’s a new cooler in town and he works at the Kielbasa roadhouse now.

Ze Germans had better be nice.

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