Taylor Swift is the Queen of broken hearts.
But she didn’t just sit back and cry into her diary and let each broken heart torment her. Instead, she harnessed the power of those broken hearts, transformed all her anguish into lyrical fuel, and turned her mediocre talent and terrible vocals into a very profitable “music” career.
The Carlyle Group (Iraq War/Big Equity) also keeps her brand going strong these days. Manipulating two generations of young girls was a long time in the making with help from corporations, industry executives, PR firms, media monopolies, and other institutions filled with shameless greed mongers and pedophiles.
After a very brief period as a strong, fierce, single, independent, childless woman of 33 (😉) in 2023, she needed a new boy tight end to break her heart to keep those creative graphene nanoparticle juices flowing.
Pfizer is the king of broken hearts.
It only made sense for The Queen’s next public display of broken heartitis that she find love with be paired up by the Illuminati with last year’s Super Bowl champion Travis Kelce, who also just happened to feature each weekend heavily during gladiator sportsball matches in commercials where he pretended to get injected with a vaccine depopulation bioweapon engineered at the Pentagon.
How they came together is such a romantic story.
Taylor, whose concerts sell out massive sportsball arenas around the world whose Netflix documentary was the most watched, and whose net worth is approaching a billion dollars, was strolling the aisles of a Barnes & Noble Bookstore in Nashville the day before Mr. Pfizer was to play a game in Nashville against division rivals Nashville Thunder when they bumped into each other in the romance novel section. They both reached for a copy of Colleen Hoover’s bestseller It Ends With Us and bumped heads.
Just kidding. They can’t read.
Mr. Pfizer made his overtures on a sportsball podcast that he hosts with his brother, saying he “was a fan of her music” and said that it would be cool to meet her et voila, she showed up to his game a week later with his Mommy.
How’s that for organic romance?
Week after week idiots of the American Idiocracy were treated to endless videos and images of this dolty talentless ho on every gladiator sportsball website, inside every corporate media newsfeed, fawning over her new lover like some teenage girl who just had her first kiss at middle school in the Janitor’s closet, with the Janitor.
After each game more and more Swifties fell in love with Taylor all over again, and her new authentic beau Mr. Pfizer. Most had never watched a minute of gladiator sportsball in their short lives, but now they tuned in to watch his tight end run around the field to the glorious delight of their favorite pop star.
In between completely authentic performances by TayTay in the private suites of the gladiator arenas, her fans were treated to nonstop showings of Mr. Pfizer’s “Two Things At The Same Time” commercial featuring Taylor’s new hunk pretending to get both the Pfizer Pflu shot, AND the Pfizer Pf**ked shot for a “novel virus” that doesn’t exist.
He was paid $20 million for that thirty-second commercial which aired thousands of times. The networks that pay to show NFL games have made over $150 million from Pfizer airing the commercial this season. Each airing during the upcoming Super Bowl will make the network $8 million per thirty seconds of depopulation promotion.
It wasn’t bad enough for idiots of the Idiocracy to see Swift on the cover of sports websites and trending on social media during every gladiator sportsball match the past twelve weeks, nope, they had to finally SHOW the world what they were doing all along.
It’s one thing to get a million swifties to tune into a regular season game, but a playoff game is a whole other level of viewership.
40 million viewers tuned in to see Mr. Pfizer’s playoff gladiator match in Buffalo Colosseum on Sunday, and at some point in the second quarter, the top tight end in the league was left completely wide open by the defense (of Damar “Pfizeritis” Hamlin’s team) so that he could score a touchdown and do this in front of millions of young impressionable Swifties…
Call me a conspiracy theorist Good Citizens…and I’ll gladly take a bow.
But how does their ONLY receiving threat, a player who often needs two defenders guarding him on every play in every game get so wide-open in the playoffs for a touchdown?
All that symbolism “hiding” in plain sight.
How many viewers saw Mr. Pfizer hold up that heart symbol and thought “Myocarditis!” and how many thought, “Oh, he’s sending love to Taylor!”
90-10 “love to Taylor”?
98-2 “love to Taylor”?
It’s true that those who would have screamed “Myocarditis!” at their televisions probably don’t waste their time watching gladiator sportsball.
Whatever the figure is that leans heavily toward ‘gullibility’ and the pitfalls of childhood fandom, it’s truly unfortunate because many of them who go and get their 2-Pfor-1 shots will have problems soon.
That’s putting it mildly. These people are so Pf**ked.
In a decade or less, all of these girls are going to turn on their Spotify “Best of Taylor Swift” playlists, light some candles in their trailers (Blackrock will own all homes), drink a bottle of ripple blanc, and get creampied by their low-T beta boyfriends with low-quality low-motility jizzum over and over and over.
And then nothing will happen.
So they’ll go to a fertility clinic and try it with some high-quality Alpha jizzum, but their fertility doctors will have to give them the bad news about ova production.
And they’ll walk out of the clinic in tears.
And they’ll all have their favorite childhood pop star princess to thank for it.
Will they be able to just shake it off, shake it off?
Black Mirror couldn’t produce a script this Pfantastic.
Related:
2-Pfor-1 Special! Join Pflock Meadow and get a Pfree Pflu shot!
Fixed Income Pensioner Discount (honor system)
Student Discount (valid .edu email)
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